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arite, zip it! - 11 zipped it good!

so..... [27 May 2003|01:25am]
[ mood | nostalgiadvocate's devilish ]

Both Danielle and Sara have recently commented on the fact that I haven't written so much as a cave hieroglyphic in over a month.

Now the time has come to speak.
I was not able....
And water through a rusted pipe
could make the sense that I do.

Gurgle and mutter
hiss and stutter
moan, the words
rush foam and choke

Having waited this long
of a winter
I fear I only
croak and sigh...

every once in a while I find some desperate wisp of something that I foolishly believe (and often prematurely classify) to be the true next step in my own personal Something/Anything?....(for those of you who have the misfortune not to be Rundgrenheads, this can be translated as the publicly-perceived masterpiece that reveals itself in time to be a stone around the artist's creative neck.....)....and then of course, these false starts reveal themselves to be the teasing frauds they are and, well...
end result: this journal has more than a few unfinished stories in it.

I had a kind of moment a little while ago, though. but rather than try to parlay it into something, I thought it worth noting for its one glaring difference to related occurences of recent months.

I have acknowledged that I am not feeling teribly inspired/creatve etc etc what have you...but I cant say ive really FELT it, you know....that's whats different, and im choosing to see that as a good sign.

once upon a time, there was lightning in my sky.

I am/have always been irratio-phobically afraid of real lightning, by the way--chew on THAT, all you symbolists out there.

I remember the lightning. its not something one really forgets.

it has been a very long time, however, since ive MISSED it.

this has to be a good thing...right?


Somewhere deep within
Hear the creak
that lets the tale begin...

arite, zip it! - 2 zipped it good!

jacked from amymich [25 Apr 2003|08:16pm]
[ mood | terpsichorean ]

i tend to speak in riddles, and getting a straight answer out of me is indeed a notable moment. while i may act a little crazy, i am actually quite lucid and tend to be the voice of reason. my sanity is in a good balance with my insanity.

how mad are you?

this quiz was made by piksy

arite, zip it! - 1 zipped it good!

stuff....things....thoughts...shit... [11 Apr 2003|07:56pm]
[ mood | contempostulous ]

A) questio-jackage from sara:

1. What was the first band you saw in concert?
ummm......A Flock of Seagulls...summer '82.....shut up.

2. Who is your favorite artist/band now?

I can only say what my present preoccupations are....im on a progrock kick....king crimson, ELP, yes, etc etc....overall biggest influences/most perennial presences though: todd rundgren/frank zappa.

3. What's your favorite song?

again, this is pure whim, but right now: 'eyes wide open' off the new KC. (Happy with what you have to be happy with, the rehearsals EP, or The Power to Believe, the studio album, take yer pick.)

4. If you could play any instrument, what would it be?

I play several.....one I dont that id like to is vibraphone.

5. If you could meet any musical icon (past or present), who would it be and why?

hmmm....due to already meeting John Cale (who was rapturously, and uncharacteristicall, receptive), needing a 2nd meeting with Rundgren to rectify a now-infamous botched-autograph incident, and knowing Robert Fripp's distaste for audient commiseration unless yer paying for a Guitar Craft course.....id have to say Frank....there are moments I just...GET him so profoundly that I feel if i turned around hed almost be there to enjoy his own hidden wisdoms with me....too bad hes dead....

B) I have had some of the most psychologically interesting/entertaining/semi-bittersweet/thought-provoking dreams lately that ive ever had.....I wonder if they'll birth any serious self-revelation.....

C) its amazing what saviours people can be if you find the right channels to ask for help. (this has to do with music collecting/upkeeping thereof.....)

D) Danielle thinks shes lost her charm.
E) when shes on a southbound bus, she will have lost her charm.

F) sometimes, the answers are obvious.

G) I have to go to the store and watch Ed.

H) sayofrickinara.

arite, zip it! -

one by one, we watch them fall...and wonder where they're falling to... [30 Mar 2003|11:03pm]
[ mood | moodless ]

1) is it strange that the loss ive known between two aprils has me musing on the phenomenon of my own impending mortality?....no...but the thing is...my reaction to it is malleable. sometimes i'm not willing to stand face to face with the reaper...other times I feel I'll just slip a PostMortem Lights 100's (filterless, duh) into my ectoplasmic mouth and buy the entity with the universe's most thankless job a beer.

intimacy breeds hostility and enlightenment. both, and dont kid yourselves.

2) She tossed a semi-curious "hi". to which I said "i was just looking at you" as proof of a lack of intention to cause nervousness.

she said "I was asleep."

I said "I know. I was just looking at you."

she said "not much to see when my eyes are closed."

Nothing could be further from the truth.

arite, zip it! - 7 zipped it good!

indiscipline. [19 Mar 2003|10:16am]
[ mood | ccccseizurecc ]

Guh-WHORE-ge Bush, elder viral strain.

Guh-WHORE-ge Bush, younger viral strain.

Sad-god-dam Hussein.

three of a (im)perfect pair.

May they all heartily consume dung-beetle burgers delicately garnish-ed with moose cock, and proceed to anally clusterollick each other down the treacherouslippery hill of their "my dick is bigger than your dick"-ness until they choke to death on each other's asshairs.

arite, zip it! -

[17 Mar 2003|09:41am]


arite, zip it! -

phelps, yer an asshole............ASSHOLE! [14 Mar 2003|12:18pm]
[ mood | thrakked ]

this is a copy of the email I sent to these talking afterbirths. lord almighty, I do SOOOOO wish plasma was ideologically discriminatory.

>>>>so....."most of this nation continues to spit in god's face", hmmm?

personally, (if you're right, and if there is a god) I'd never desire allegiance to any supposedly supreme being who names you fetid comestains of the collective Lewinski dress of life as "chosen". I'll take the buddhists, fuck you very much.

and/or (if youre wrong, and if there is a god), I cannot adequately give voice to the immense sense of justice and eternal joy i'll take knowing that the reason im only KNEE deep in steaming excrement within the bowels of hell is because im standing on YOUR fucking shoulders.<<<<<

arite, zip it! -

[27 Feb 2003|09:33am]
from Florida Today (newspaper)

TITUSVILLE -- James R. Shaw, 60, diedSunday, February 23, 2003, after a battle with cancer. Born on May 5, 1942 in Hartford, Connecticut, he lived in the Brevard county area since 1995. He was a professor of Computer Science at the Titusville campus of Brevard Community College, and he also taught for many years at the Palm Bay campus. His hobbies included watching NASCAR races, restoring Corvettes, working on his boat, and taking care ofanimals. Mr. Shaw was a lifelong New York Yankees, Detroit Red Wings and SyracuseOrangemen fan. He is survived by his wife, Anne E. Shaw of Titusville; two sons, Keith C. Shaw of Millbury, Mass., and Kevin J. Shaw of Vacaville, Calif.; a step-son, Michael T. Pope of Westfield, Mass.; a brother, George H. Shaw of Schenectady, N.Y.; a sister, Mary E. Lamica of Wilton, N.Y.; two grandchildren; and several nieces and nephews. A memorial service will be held on Wednesday, February 26th, at 2 p.m. at North Brevard Funeral Home, 1450 Norwwod Avenue in Titusville. Another memorial service will be held in the Spring in Scotia, N.Y. In lieu of flowers, please send donations to the BCC Foundation, 1519 Clearlake Road, Cocoa, FL 32922.

it was only one hour ago
it was all so different then
as nothing yet has really sunk in
looks like it always did
this flesh and bone
it's just the way that you were tied in
now there's no-one home
i grieve for you
you leave me

it's so hard to move on
still loving what's gone
they say life carries on
carries on and on and on and on

the news that truly shocks
is the empty empty page
while the final rattle rocks
its empty empty cage
and i can't handle this
i grieve for you
you leave me

let it out and move on
missing what's gone
they say life carries on
they say life carries on and on and on
life carries on
in the people i meet
in everyone that's out on the street
in all the dogs and cats
in the flies and rats
in the rot and the rust
in the ashes and the dust
life carries on and on and on and on
life carries on and on and on

this is the car that we ride in
the home we reside in
the face that we hide in
the way we are tied in
life carries on and on and on and on
life carries on and on and on

did I dream this belief?
or did i believe this dream?
now i can't find relief
i grieve
--Peter Gabriel

arite, zip it! - 1 zipped it good!

grammies and stuff.... [25 Feb 2003|12:02am]
so peter gabriel, david bowie (one nomination apiece) and elvis costello (three nominations) lost.

but so did avril fucking lavigne. 5 nominations and she couldnt nail even one. HA.

justice poetique? *scoff*

note for the record: I am appreciative of words sent my way vis a vie Jim's death. but I dont have much to say. I cant justify this, I cant make it fair. nothing about this is fair. but deal with it. I grieve how it happens, there's no choice in the method. he'd probably be surprised that I cried for him. or maybe not. if I know me, I probably was conscious of whatever residue remained of the time in which we hated each other longer than he was. I have trouble with the past. but I did come around and I can only hope he knows it.

im done. im going to be alone with my thoughts now.

arite, zip it! - 2 zipped it good!

deux mortis [24 Feb 2003|11:42am]
8:30 AM my mother phoned. Jim died last night. last surgery/chemo followups just sapped him straight out of this world.

this is different than Bill.

Bill was 88, partially incapacitated, serene in that he'd been saying since I was like 6 that he was at peace with the eventuality of death. he didnt lose that peace. we knew he was counting down, and he was ancient.

Jim was just 60. one week younger than my father. we didnt get along when i was adolescing, shared a house yet didnt speak to each other for the better part of 2 years. as it sometimes happens, though, the problem was just that we couldnt LIVE together. once we werent, we got along like several blazing houses. he was the main instigating/positively reinforcing force in me getting as far with college as I've gotten so far, he always could find something to laugh at in any situation. (like: a week ago he told mom that since he was losing hair due to treatment he wanted a ball cap lettered "BHB", for "bald-headed bastard"...)...this man LOVED life. not that many people really ENJOY theirs. I'm a natural sourpuss and so is my mom. he helped us have fun. Often.

he'd always had trouble with jobs. his career history held little stability until the last few years. he'd been teaching computer science at a community college. mom's going to suggest a memorial service to be held in its auditorium, because he LOVED that job, and his students loved HIM for his dedication. he'd only been doing it a couple years and then he had to quit.

so fate saw fit to punish a rare and infectious vitality by slowly eviscerating its host over 2 years.

well...fate can suck me. because THIS sucks. he didnt deserve any of this.

*engages radio silence for a while of indeterminate length*

arite, zip it! - 3 zipped it good!

so everyone writes about valentinicynicism... [14 Feb 2003|09:38pm]
we caught a film ("how to lose a guy in 10 days"....better than expected, but I havent been to a movie in an actual THEATRE in like 2 years, so it aint like im hard to please...) and stuffed ourselves at the hometown buffet....all you can eat for $9...although when you get up to leave youve invariably pigged out to the point that it should be classified as "MORE than all you can eat"....like...

...uhhh...'scuse me, im not done yet. i still have a little room left in my esophagus. Could someone put their foot in my mouth, please, and step down?"

"Eeeep!!", he said.

arite, zip it! -

diseases....displeases...oh jesus.... [09 Feb 2003|08:29pm]
[ mood | drug-ged ]

according to my mom, my stomacancerous stepfather is rapidly approaching the day when he will no longer beat his own previous record for the number of consecutive days he's stayed alive.

and I'm beginning to think I must have been on that damn boat.

is there a regression therapist in the house?

death sucks.

I don't know which is worse. the actual departure/severence when someone you (or your mom) loves dies...or the void they leave you with.

arite, zip it! -

fuck maaaaaan..... [03 Feb 2003|02:17pm]
...watched "the opposite of sex" this morning, and y'know what it taught me?

people suck. every last one of 'em.

arite, zip it! - 2 zipped it good!

why? [29 Jan 2003|07:43pm]
[ mood | precipicertainly impish ]

I got a spam e-mail offering a method of adding 1 to 3 inches to the length of my cock.

who did i piss off in a past life so badly that this inane shit follows me around? *l*

it's not half as good as this is though. this sentence takes the pornographisolicitous cake. definitely.

arite, zip it! - 4 zipped it good!

the lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. [27 Jan 2003|01:32am]
he maketh me to lie down in green pastures.

and then the son of a bitch converteth me to lamb cutlets.

(just saw the matrix)

arite, zip it! - 3 zipped it good!

[25 Jan 2003|09:23pm]
[ mood | obstreperous ]

cadbury creme eggs fuckin' rock.


yes they do.

conversational snippet from 2 nights ago while watching "charlie's angels" on DVD:

Tim Curry (to Bill Murray, holding plate w/said item): "Blowfish?"

me, MST 3K-style: "I try not to, now that I dont need the money so badly."

dani, to noone in particular: *dies of makes-it-funnier slight-delayed-reaction-laughter*

arite, zip it! -

woe is I? (not sure i buy this.) [24 Jan 2003|07:40pm]
[ mood | philosophicalamitous ]

You are white. You are pure, but what also comes with that, is the ability to be manipulated and to manipulate. You cannot change or be changed, you really have no idenity, you just do what is necessary. You are completely pure, and no amount of lust that you act on can tarnish you because lust is NOT you. You are seperate from the real world, you create you own. Unfortunately, that world is terribly lonley...

What inner color are you?

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<font [...] shirono</font>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<A HREF= " http://quizilla.com/users/Shirono/quizzes/The%20inner%20color%20quiz%20(Utena%20Images)" > <IMG SRC="http://homepage.mac.com/werkers/colorquiz/youarewhite.jpg"> <P>You are white. You are pure, but what also comes with that, is the ability to be manipulated and to manipulate. You cannot change or be changed, you really have no idenity, you just do what is necessary. You are completely pure, and no amount of lust that you act on can tarnish you because lust is NOT you. You are seperate from the real world, you create you own. Unfortunately, that world is terribly lonley...</P> <P>What inner color are you? </P></A> <P><FONT SIZE= "-1"Quiz by Shirono</FONT> </P>

arite, zip it! - 5 zipped it good!

turn on the signal, WIPE OUT THE NOISE. [23 Jan 2003|05:37pm]
[ mood | sardoniclawed ]

"consistency doesn't exist in the real world."


consistency exists EVERYWHERE.

again, horseshit, unfortunately.

but one can dream, right?

unwritten law among those given to paranoia: without consistency, expect questions. period.

(no message)

soooo......recently I had minor cause to get in touch with ye olde Ren group...though I doubt anyone who reads this even remembers them. but at least one of you knows Anthea/WildSpirit, who's getting married in october, and asked yours insidiously to somehow show up and "give her away".

I don't know how i feel about this. honoured to be asked, sure, but it's kind of like a grammy nomination. if you really think about it, how much of an honour is it to be up for the same award avril lavigne's up for? likewise, how much of an honour is it to be asked to "give away" that which should never be anyone's to "give away" in the first place?

oh well....ponder ponder ponder.

(no message)

none of this is what I'd been intending to write anyway.

this is what id been intending to write, and considering what it says, its very ironic that im doing it.

(no message)

lately, ive been sleeping days, and it's beginning to give me issues.

(no message)

im going to attempt to drug it back around, because its saddening to wake up and wish you could have woken up in an embrace instead of in the glare of this goddamn box.

I hate this fucking thing.

(receiver transmit.)

arite, zip it! - 3 zipped it good!

durr? [19 Jan 2003|06:12pm]
What's your Inner European?

brought to you by Quizilla

arite, zip it! - 3 zipped it good!

yes, sometimes i think people... [17 Jan 2003|06:40pm]
...should watch their fucking mouth.

ICE queen, my indignant ass. she's hotter, and ten times as original and interesting, than the Im-surprised-he-came-up-with-enough-words-for-a-full-sentence gumflapper who left the last comment here will ever be.

wonder if he has any tastes that mayhaps aren't seen by the world at large as "cool". probably not. you have to have GUTS for that.

yer right by the way. to consider yourself "such a bitch". narrow-minded lemming-to-the-standards-of-societally-mandated-"coolness" superficial (see your own sex survey, obviously you're not someone who'd like to help end the media's reign of subtly inflicted anofuckingrexia on fullfigured girls) asshole.

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